Respond without Action – actually mean.When we become new parents there is so much advice, like what to do and what not to do with your newborn.
Research suggests that it could be detrimental to your babies development when you leave them to cry.While this research has some truth to it it is very much based on crying for extended period of time, not responding and leaving them to cry it out until exhaustion sets in and eventually give up.
I don’t believe any nurturing parent would leave their baby to such an extent.
However this info is extended to all types of crying even if it for a few seconds. Hence we need to be very careful with some of research based information.
Babies cry for all sorts of reasons – not only for hunger
Their cries can be due to – Tiredness
The questions is – how do we respond.
You can respond by action
You can respond by sound
or you can respond by observation.
Ill give you one scenario that often keeps babies from settling or sleeping for longer periods during their nap times.
The good old 30 min nap phenomena
So you hear your baby waking. They are noisy, grumpy, sucking on their hands, yep even newborn suck can be sucking on their hands.
Because your emotions, possibly lack of knowledge, pressure of family, friends and also internet surfing and professionals suggesting you never leave your baby to cry (AT ALL ). Your response is to quickly run in without any hesitation, pick your baby up out of their bassinet or cot and give them a cuddle.
I would so agree with you with this response but only when it is really necessary.
So here is the reason why its best to keep in mind the words
Respond without Action
Observe Observe Observe
Yep before you respond I want you to observe.
Peak around the door, don’t let yourself be seen if your baby is older and more aware and give yourself time to think and observe what is going on.
Especially around nap times, your baby is going through two important sleep cycles.
REM and NON-REM
Majority of babies especially newborn will cry when they either come in or are transitioning to another cycle.
When they do this they are still asleep. Yes they will cry, make noise, suck on their hands and grizzle.
So we tend to respond far too quickly and pick our babies up when they are actually still asleep.
When this happens we have stopped their ability to transition into their next sleep cycle and hence the 30 min nap becomes a challenge.
They haven’t had a chance to fall asleep again because of the intervention (action ).
Wiht this action if its done on a consistent basis will become the norm. Hence why a lot of babies become 30 min nappers.
So next time you hear your baby cry after their sleep and if you think they haven’t ad enough or its just been 20 to 30 min. Observe first and watch them because often they may actually have their eyes closed and are still transitioning.
If their cries are consistent the resettle first with sound or your hand without picking your baby up first.
Remember I’m only a phone call or PM away when you need more support.